Fairly Odd Parents Porn Story: The Expectants II Chapter 2

Disclaimer-
I do not own, nor have in my possession, Fairly Odd Parents or
Weapons of Mass Destruction. They remain the sole property of
Nickelodeon Studios.

Authors
Note- New year New life to The Expectants II! Its changed from
my original version but Im trying to re-write as close to the
original as I can. There probably wont be another chapter for a
while, as theres still a lot of plot elements that Im
desperately trying to remember, and I dont want to publish
anything before its ready. It will get published in its entirety
though, whether sooner or later. Unless of course the whole story
gets wiped again, in which case I think well all agree that it was
just not meant to exist. So please read and review now that Im
writing again, because reviews are wonderful things and nourish me in
my day to day life.

1. Blonde Bombshell

Blonda,
glamorous star of All My Biceps, was not feeling glamorous
this morning at all. She flew into the kitchen, wrapping her dressing
gown a little tighter around her as she fought the feelings of nausea
that were all too common to her recently.

Sick
again? asked her boyfriend, Juandissimo Magnifico, who was already
having breakfast whilst reading a magazine. Blonda simply nodded and
sat opposite him. It had been two and a half months since hed
moved in; her first steady boyfriend for a long time. At first she
had been cautious and wary; Juandissimo did, after all, have a long
and well-known infatuation with her twin (something Blonda had never
been able to understand). As time went on, however, she had seen that
he was truly over Wanda, and that his somewhat disturbing but also
flattering obsession was turning to her.

I think
Ill go and see Rip, she said, breaking out of her thoughts. I
really cant be sick right now, with filming and career
commitments

You are
dating Ditch Davy, interrupted Juandissimo with a frown, reading
his magazine. You were seen with him two nights ago.

Blonda
rolled her eyes and made an impatient noise with her tongue. You
know I went to that charity ball, Juandissimo, I just talked to him,
thats all.

Not
according to these photos

Blonda
snatched the magazine out of his hands with a frown.

Oh,
those are six months old, she said impatiently, throwing the
magazine back at Juandissimo. She knew he was annoyed that he wasnt
getting any attention or publicity, but deep down Blonda was
perfectly happy with keeping Juandissimo a secret from the pooferazzi
for a little while. It sure took stress off the relationship by not
having speculations from the press every day about how their
love-life was going.

Now as
I was saying, Im going to see Rip, Blonda said again.

Okay,
do you want any breakfast before you go?

Actually,
Ill just have some fruit, said Blonda, poofing up a peach.
Ive really got to start watching my weight.

Hmmm,
agreed Juandissimo absent-mindedly.

Excuse
me? said Blonda, putting her hands on her hips. Are you saying
I have put on weight?

No!
said Juandissimo quickly, looking up from his magazine. Did I
mention how beautiful you were looking this morning?

Blondas
expression softened and she smiled charmingly. Thankyou
Juandissimo! Id better go to the doctors now. Then her
sweetness dropped. Well talk about my weight when I get back.

She poofed
up in the waiting room of Dr Rip Studwell. Shuddering at the thought
of having to spend time in the same room as sick, average fairies,
she quickly flew to the receptionists desk.

Im
here to see Dr Rip Studwell, she said shortly.

Do you
have an appointment? asked the receptionist, a youngish male fairy
that seemed somewhat star struck.

Honey,
I dont need an appointment. Just tell him Blondas here. Hell
see me.

A minute
after the fairy had paged Dr Studwell, she was permitted to see the
doctor. Tossing her hair haughtily, Blonda floated in.

So,
Blonda, what can I do for you? asked Dr Studwell. More lipo?

At the
rate Im gaining weight Ill have to soon. But thats not why
Ive come to see you Rip. Ive been throwing up a lot lately and
I dont know why.

Hmm,
said Studwell thoughtfully.

Do you
think its stress? asked Blonda anxiously. Sure, I have been
feeling a little tired lately and the filming for the shows been
kind of hectic, but Ive been doing it for 520 years now

No, I
dont think its stress, said Dr Rip. You say youve been
sick? Is it at any particular time of the day?

Well
now you mention it, it is mostly when I wake up. Or when Juandissimo
uses his violet massage oil. Usually its not bad but lately I
cant stand it at all. Is it important?

It
might be, said Studwell cryptically. You say youve been
tired and youve put on weight?

Yes!
snapped Blonda, starting to loose her patience. Rip, whats
wrong with me!

Dr Rip
Studwell was quiet for quite a long time, narrowing his eyes in a
thoughtful way and obviously reflecting on how handsome he looked
when he was thinking. Eventually he put his hands together in front
of him and said Blonda, I have some good news and some bad news.
He left a little pause to build the effect and to hear Blondas
small gasp. The good news is its not what youre eating
thats affecting your weight. The bad news is youre pregnant,
and that is affecting your weight.

Blonda was
silent for a few seconds in shock before she laughed lightly.

I dont
think so.

Well I
do.

You
could be wrong.

I
could, but thats not likely. He gave himself a moment to
reflect on his own greatness before continuing. Blonda, Im
going to

Youre
wrong, Blonda interrupted suddenly.

No,
Blonda, Im not.

Yes you
are.

No Im
not.

Yes you
are!

No Im
not!

Yes you
are!

No Im
Blonda, we could float here all day arguing but it wont help.

Yes it
will.

No it
look, if you really want to know if youre pregnant or not, Ill
refer you to Dr Oyfele. Shes the best obstetrician in Fairy World.
Shell be able to tell you for sure.

Good!
snapped Blonda, snatching the business card out of Dr Studwells
hand. Shell be able to tell me Im not. Without a
further word to the surprised looking doctor, Blonda poofed haughtily
out of the office and into a street in Fairy World shed never been
in before. She found herself in front of a modern looking glass
building which matched the address on the card. She pushed open the
door and floated in.

Hello?
called Blonda as she entered the empty office.

Just in
here! called a cheerful voice.

Blonda
floated through to a smaller office where a fairy with long curly
hair and large glasses was floating with a wide cheerful smile on her
face.

You
must be Blonda? she said chirpily.

Yes,
Im the fairy youre telling is not pregnant, said Blonda
bossily. Can we hurry this up please, Im a very busy fairy.

Im
sure you are! said Oyfele pleasantly. So I wont waste your
time.

She flew
over and stuck a thermometer in her mouth. Studwell tells me
youve been putting on weight and youve been tired.

Owww!
exclaimed Blonda as Oyfele poked her in the stomach with her wand.
Yesh, bu tha could jush be from shtresh, she said around
the thermometer. An I guesh I should jush oh, thankyou I
should just get a new diet.

Yes,
you should, since youll be eating for two.

Excuse
me? said Blonda, rasing an eyebrow. Whats that supposed to
mean?

It
means youre pregnant, said Oyfele with a smile.

No. I
cant be. She saw Oyfeles raised eyebrow and smug smile and
frowned. Okay, so I could be. But Im not!

Blonda,
I have all the evidence I need.

What
evidence! You didnt do anything!

Yes I
did, reminded Oyfele, twirling her wand. And I could do it
again, but you asked me not to waste your time.

You
dont know what youre talking about, snapped Blonda, folding
her arms stubbornly.

Blonda,
Ive been doing this job since before you were born. Who do you
think told your mother she was pregnant with you and your sister?

Wait,
it was you? said Blonda, forgetting her anger for a moment.

Sorry,
doctor patient confidentiality! said Oyfele cheerfully. So, you
still think youre not pregnant?

Yes.

Oooh, a
toughie eh? I havent seen someone so strongly in denial for
centuries. Its not just a river in Egypt, you know.

What?
snapped Blonda at the doctors ramblings.

Never
mind! But if you really want proof, just think back. Was there any
time after you and your partner had been intimate that you felt
something was different?

She
watched as Blondas face turned into one of triumph, then thought,
then worry, then horror. Yep, she thought smugly. That one
gets em every time.

Oh my
god Im pregnant, whispered Blonda in horror. The suddenly her
horror turned to fury and she started screaming. I dont want
it! I want it gone! Im a celebrity! I dont have to deal with
this!

Blonda,
said Oyfele rather firmly. You know as well as I do that we cant
use magic to destroy another life. Im afraid youre stuck with
this baby. You know, when Wanda found out she was pregnant, she

Well
Im not Wanda! shouted Blonda. She let out a scream of
frustration and anger and blasted a medical certificate on Dr
Oyfeles wall before she got a hold of herself and her breathing
calmed.

Feel
better? asked Oyfele kindly.

Yes
thankyou, replied Blonda calmly. Though I think Im going to
be sick.

Oyfele
poofed up a bucket for her to throw up in. Giving her a few minutes
to compose herself, the doctor continued. Now Blonda, we have
quite a few things we have to discuss. I suggest you cancel work for
today.

I think
I will, agreed Blonda weakly. And I have a question.

Yes?

Can I
keep the bucket?

—

Later that
day, Blonda poofed home. She was exhausted and emotionally drained
and collapsed on her couch, putting her hand over her eyes.

Hola mi
amour! called Juandissimo, posing and floating into the room.
Blonda glared at him from under her hand.

Go
away, she growled softly.

Ah, mi
amour, this is about your weight, yes?

Suddenly
Blonda sat straight up and looked panicked, her hands unconsciously
moving to her stomach. What about my weight? Theres nothing
wrong with it! Theres nothing! Shut up! Dont look at me! Go
away! Shut up! She quickly flew put of the room towards the
bathroom, leaving a very confused Juandissimo behind. He sighed and
ran a hand through his hair. He loved women, but sometimes they could
just be so crazy.