Fairly Odd Parents Porn Story: Timmy Turner and Hootch Chapter 1

The
Fairly Oddparents in “Timmy Turner and Hootch”

By
Technomaru

Chapter
1: This Bud’s for you!

Note: I
DEFINATELY do not own Fairly Oddparents… the word “Stupid
Juice” was taken from “Moral Orel”

This fanfic was
inspired by something I saw online that I just realized, I guess the
fairies need to check up in “Da Rules” throughly or else
this would happen…

Due
to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this chapter
in no way endorses underage drinking.

-Technomaru-

Despite
what the Thriller warning parody says, I am against underage drinking
and this is not meant to be taken seriously until the final chapter.

————————————————————————————-

A Rod Serling like narrarator shows up
and says, “This is the story of a average kid who no one
understands…well you know how the song goes, well anyway this is
the story of what if one day a young boy named Timmy Turner discovers
something no kid should ever get into but does anyway since boys will
be boys… so Timmy Turner will open that bottle and end up in a one
way ticket into… THE CHROMAZONE!” Cosmo then says, “Hey
you! Get back to your own show!” And with that the narrarator
just vanishes.

One day, Wanda was playing with baby
Poof while Cosmo ate a eggplant panini…with his feet. Timmy was
busy reading “Da Rules”, a
large rulebook that contains rules of what children can and cannot
wish for. Wanda asks Timmy, “Timmy are you looking in the
rulebook so you can find loopholes in wishes… again?”

Timmy
then continues reading and says, “AHA! They don’t cover it!”
Cosmo then asks, “Cover what? The rule about eating sandwiches
with you feet?’ Cosmo is then eating a sandwich with his feet once
more. Timmy then says, “Ok… what’s the one thing a kid should
never get but is never told why?”

“Access
to “The Naughty Boy Channel”? asked Wanda.

“A
pet monkey?” asked Cosmo. Poof just giggles.

Timmy
then says, “Not those… although access to “The Naughty
boy channel” does sound sweet, I’m talking about “Hootch”,
“booze”, “lager”, “browar”, “chmiel”,
“une mousse”, “cervesa”, “birra”,
“brewski”, “ein bierchen”, “pint…”

Cosmo
then asks, “In english please.”

Timmy
then shouts, “I WISH FOR A ROOM FULL OF BEER AND ALCOHOLIC
BEVERAGES!!!”

Wanda
is shocked and says, “TIMMY! You’re waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too
young to be drinking that sort of garbage! And second…” Timmy
interrupts her, “But Wanda I checked the rulebook and is says
NOTHING about wishing for beer… so make with the razzle dazzle…
please?” Wanda speed-reads the rulebook and says to Timmy, “….
You’re right! I guess we have no choice… plus you did say please.”

With
a depressing look on her face, Wanda as well as Cosmo make the wish
come true. Appearing in a poof of smoke with the word “BOOZE”
on it. Timmy’s room is surrounded by ludicris abounts of alcoholic
drinks and beer, especially beers from around the word.

Timmy
then opens a bottle of Duff Beer and at first he didn’t like it but
then… he downs it while Cosmo chants, “Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug!” Timmy downed it and shouts, “I LIKE BEER!
BUUUURRRRP!”

Wanda
then shows Timmy Poof and says, “Do you really want to set a bad
example for your fairy godbrother?” Timmy then says in a drunken
stuper, “Bite my pink fleshy butt! HA HA HA!” Wanda then
says, “I sure hope Timmy learns something from this… right
Cosmo? Cosmo? … COSMO!”

Cosmo
is holding a beer in his hand, covered in cotton candy and says in a
drunken stupor, “Lookit me, I’m a fluffy pink cloud!” Timmy
turns on the TV and says, Hey Cosmo… I have a idea… let’s play a
drinking game! Ok… everytime the little blue guys on TV say the
word “Smurf”… we drink! Whoever has to go peepee loses!”
Cosmo then says, “You’re on!”

(5
Minutes Later)

Timmy
loses and is holding a bottle of Budweiser and says, “Looks like
I lost!” Cosmo then grabs Timmy’s bottle of Budweiser and says,
“Hey Timmy… gimme a swig of that!” Timmy looks at the
bottle and says, “Umm because my dad had cornbeef and cabbage
the bathroom is used all day… so this bottle is my bathroom!”
The two just laugh themselves silly.

Wanda
is changing Poof and says, “This is more disgusting than the
“Supertoilet” incident.” Cosmo then drunkenly says,
“Forget that jerk! He owes me $3.50! If he was here I’d make him
into a pile of porceline!” Wanda then says, “Look behind
you! It’s Supertoilet!” Cosmo is worried and asks, “WHERE?”

Timmy
hands cosmo a can of beer while Timmy puts his hand over his
can of beer and chants, “Ziggy
Socky, Ziggy Socky, Hoy, Hoy, Hoy! Ziggy Socky, Ziggy Socky, Hoy,
Hoy, Hoy”. Cosmo
then says, “You know Timmy, since we’re surrounded by all this
hootch how about we sing our favorite song!”

Wanda
puts earplugs on Poof and herself and says, “Oh no! Not that!
Anything but that!”

Timmy
and Cosmo then sing:

99
bottles of beer on the wall,

99
bottles of beer,

You
take one down, pass it around

98
bottles of beer on the wall!

98
bottle of beer on the wall,

98
bottles of beer,

YOU
KICK THE WALL, WATCH IT ALL FALL,

NO
MORE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!

They
laugh hysterically while Wanda asks Cosmo, “Hey isn’t that
cheating?” Cosmo then says, “Hey! The rulebook has nothing
on “99 bottles of beer on the wall!” Suddenly they hear the
door open and Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof morph into a green bottle, a
pink bottle, and a purple bottle.

It’s
was Timmy’s father Mr. Turner. He sees the room surrounded in beer
and alcoholic beverages as well as Timmy in a drunken stupor. Mr.
Turner than looks around and says to Timmy, “Gasp! This room is
full of enough liquor to support a french family of four… Ok son…
where did you get this liquor?” Timmy drunkenly replies, “Umm…
the internet?”

Mr.
Turner then says, “Ok young man I will not use my rarely used
fatherly skills to punish… HEY! Isn’t that “Schwarzenlager:
the beer of German actors”? Can I please have it? I’ll be your
friend!” Timmy then makes a stupid drunken grin and asks, “I
dunno… will you let me drink some more and not tell mom about it?”
Mr. Turner then nods his head while making begging puppy noises and
Timmy just passes the bottle of “Schwarzenlager: the beer of
German actors” to him.

(5
minutes later)

Timmy
then says to his dad, “So THAT’s your real name? No wonder why
you rarely mention what your name is.” Timmy’s dad then says in
a faux-canadian accent, “HA! I’ll drink mooshead beer to that
you hoser, eh? Ka-roo–koo–koo-a-koo–koo–koo!
Good Day, eh?”

Timmy’s
dad then sees Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof and says to Timmy in his
faux-canadian accent, “Hey I see imaginary fairies you hoser, I
really am that fit-shaced eh?”

Timmy
then says to Cosmo, “Cool, dad thinks you guys are
hallucinations! Now bring out the Samuel Jackson beer!” Then
Samuel Jackson appears with beer and shouts, “DRINK MY BEER YOU
MOTHER F&^KERS!”

After
Samuel Jackson vanishes Timmy watches a internet video of Chris
Crocker shouting, “LEAVE BRITNEY BRITNEY ALONE!” Then
laughing until he spilt his Samuel Jackson beer and Cosmo drinks it.

Timmy,
Mr. Turner, and Cosmo are then drinking Alamo Beer. Timmy then says,
“Yup!” Mr. Turner then says, “Yup!” And Cosmo
says, “Yup… What does that mean anyway?” Timmy then says,
“It means I better drink this!” Timmy pulls out a can of
“Pawtucket Patriot” beer and says to Cosmo, “It was
prescribed to me by Dr. Hartmann”

(Cutaway
begins)

Dr.
Elmer Hartmann gives Timmy a six-pack of Pawtucket Patriot and says
to him, “There you go! That aughta make those cooties go away,
Now I got to give a six pack to my next patient Carter Pewterschmit”

(Cutaway
ends)

Timmy
then says to his dad, “You let me drink beer… and you let
Vicky tourture me when she babysits me… you’re a bad father ha ha
ha!” Timmy’s dad replies, “I know I am son… I know I
am… AHAHAHAHA!” Timmy then says to his dad, “I love you
man!” Timmy’s dad then says, “You’re still not getting my
beer!” Then the two and Cosmo pass out.

Wanda
and Poof turn into fish and puts Poof to bed in the fishbowl,
thinking, “I hope Timmy sees that this loophole in the rulebook
will spell out doom for us all…”

TO
BE CONTINUED…